Quality and Conviction

My project is being delivered today, guys. I've been 20 mile marching more than ever, but I still had to move fast at the end of this project. And I'm a perfectionist, so there's always some hard days at the end. Not sure how to avoid that yet.

But, I still take care of myself even with the long hours. I eat my salad, exercise each night, run 3 times a week, and I force myself to rest for 30 minutes in the afternoon to break up the day. I stand up at my desk for about 3-4 hours each day, and I'm still using software that forces me to rest my hands periodically (been doing that for over 7 years). All of these things have really helped me sustain my energy output for the full days I've been churning out. Like I talked about last week, I'm no good at my job if my body is in disrepair.

I'll share the video as soon as I can, but today you'll have to make do with an image:

I've drawn so many cartoon people this month.

What's next? Well, it's been requested that my cube dancing videos keep coming. You can expect one next Friday. I had a good idea for one a couple days ago that made me laugh. Next week I'm also going to be working on a "video in two days" with somebody. I have no idea what it will be, because we will conceive and create it within the two days. A fun challenge.

I'll be showing more client work later this month in addition to some new work on Hunted. It's been a while, I know.

Releasing Art

I've been getting better at releasing art. This blog and those silly cube dancing videos I've been making have helped me to just get my art out there. I feel embarrassed by them, but there's a method to my madness. Throughout my career I've either obsessed over something for way too long or I've been forced to release stuff by my employers/deadlines.

Quality is still one of my most treasured principles, but releasing unfinished things has it's benefits too. There are some things that I will continue to obsess over, but now I'm creating "throw away" content that I churn out regularly. Right now, it's my cube dancing series.

So, what's the value? Well, it's made me more confident. The last big project I did had a 2 week period of intense crunching at the end. That's right when I was finalizing my business and putting in my 2 weeks notice at my old job. I was frantic! This time, I did work hard at the end, but I wasn't as overwhelmed by the thought of releasing it. I'm sure not everyone likes those stupid cubes, so it's forced me to be okay with that. Bottom line: I know I'm good at my job, so I don't have to prove it with every thing I release. The pressure to do better with every project has often suffocated me instead of helped me. For years my portfolio had like two things in it because I didn't think much of my stuff was good enough.

Not to worry, though. I'm a fanatic for obsessive detail and the life-long pursuit for greatness. I think we should all strive to be excellent in all we do in life. It's one of my life principles. I'm so passionate about it that when the quality of something is threatened, I quickly get involved and I fight really hard to make it good. But as my great-grandmother would say: moderation in all things.

Bailey

The Dark Side of the Creative Process

This blog is all about peeling back the layers. So, I'm gonna be honest...I struggled creatively this week. Art is always a struggle to one degree or another, but every now and then it can be pretty rough. Some people might scoff at the woes of a creative. After all, the job of a creative person can appear to be an easy one. I'll agree that it's not physical labor, but it is exhausting nonetheless. Creating is less like "make-believe" and more like solving a really hard puzzle. A puzzle that you can't even see properly. It's a brain workout.

Unfortunately, inspiration does not flow from a faucet that we can turn on and off whenever we want. That is why the movie, music, and every art industry in the world is inherently volatile. Artists make every effort to increase the odds of new ideas, inspiration and excitement. But that's all we can do. We can only increase the chances of lightning strikes by creating the right conditions for it. I won't get into what those are, because that's a different topic.

Projects can be great fun, but even the best projects suffer from the inevitability of human nature. At least that's my experience. Maybe someone out there has only experienced easy projects, but I doubt it. If you're going to grow, then you need to challenge yourself. And every creative has been bored, exhausted or depressed by a project. It's like the quote by Jill Soloway: "Every project is a race between your enthusiasm and your ability to get it done."

The emotional timeline of a project is a predictable downward slope that pauses at a low, very dark, very serious place before suddenly rising again at the end. This dark place is something every creative has experienced. I'm not kidding when I say that this stage sucks. It's full of self-doubt, apathy and fear. Most of the project is a struggle, but this darkness requires the most energy and confidence to emerge from. It's my thinking that the process of doubt is not a fault of the artist, rather it's just part of the process of doing something new. And a while back I saw a graphic of this, but I modified it based on my own experiences. The original one I saw can be seen here, but here's mine:

You'll notice that it's hard to rise all the way back up to that ideal dream we feel when we first start a project, but we can make something pretty good anyway...if we work hard. And yes, I occupied the lowest point this past week. My enthusiasm was non-existent. But the thing to remember is that every project (especially the long ones) go through this descent and eventual rise. The 3D Printing project was no different last year. There was a time when I had zero interest in it. My inspiration had dwindled and the movie looked like crap. But through considerable effort, I overcame it. We always do, unless we give up or have to stop.

I'm lukewarm on what I've made this month. But it'll come through...enough. That's the other thing. Not everyone will like it. And even worse, there's no guarantee that my art will be liked by my clients. All I want, sincerely, is that I like it. If I like it, then someone else might too. Carrying on to make art for ourselves is the only genuine way to make art.

Creating is hard. I'll admit that I've abandoned a lot of projects to rot in the darkness phase. To be clear, I don't think every project needs to be finished. Sometimes this is perfectly fine because we should be focusing on something else anyway. But if we decide to finishing something, to keep going, to keep marching...know that we can rise to a level that seems impossible from where we are.

Onward and upward!

Bailey

The Life of a Freelance Artist

Artists have to make money. I wish I could just create whatever I wanted and not worry about finances, but I'm not there yet. Most of us are either working at a company earning a salary, or we're out hustling on our own, booking gigs, selling our art and earning a living that way. Right now, I'm doing the latter.

One of the things that's been most surprising to me since starting my business is how my perception of money has changed. I worked in an office for seven years. I earned steady income for that entire period, and I was never out of work. During those years, I didn't really think about money very often. As long as I had a job, everything was magically alright.

But now I think about money every day. It's what keeps this adventure going. So, I hustle, research, and strategize all the time. And when I sign contracts for paid work, it's a feeling like no other. Diving into the unknown can be terrifying, but completely invigorating. I choose to perceive this path as a series of opportunities to make my life the way I want it. And because of that, I feel very good just about every day.

It's important to note that I make every effort to keep my creative time free and clear of stress. It's hard to create when stressed. And if I can't create, I can't live. So, stress mitigation is kinda important. Luckily, I learned a great deal about stress management over the last seven years, and I'm still working to be better at it.

So, would I recommend this path to other artists? Well, it depends on what kind of person you are. It takes a lot of work, time, care, responsibility and discipline. That's just fine with me, because I relish that stuff. It does mean that every move I make matters, but that's why it's so great too. I get to be making the moves, not someone else.

If you're on the fence, think about it like this: you need to satisfy the priorities in your life that are specific to you. For me, this is what I want. I want control, responsibility, and opportunities for insane growth. It suits me, so I'm absolutely happier than I've ever been. But everyone has different intrinsic or situational needs. And they must satisfy them or risk being unhappy. And remember, good will always be the enemy of great (more on that here).

The best piece of advice I have is this: Listen to yourself. We're always subconsciously telling ourselves what we want in life. But do we have the courage to objectively listen, no matter what it says? It may not be easy to accept what we want. I wish I loved building rockets, but I don't so I won't be trying to work for NASA. And years ago, members of my family were upset with me that I didn't pursue a career as a dancer. They said I was throwing away my talent. But here's the deal: I didn't love it. If I had done it, I would have been throwing away my life, not my talent. So, I didn't do it.

I know that fear is the biggest de-motivator. Believe me, I've had my fair share of it. And it was because of fear that I resisted starting my own business. But when I remembered that the days of my life were falling away, like grains of sand, I knew I had to do it immediately. And I knew that I could fail, but I could fail just as easily not doing what I loved. In fact, we're more likely to fail at things that we don't love. And besides that, we can get a string of bad luck, no matter what we're doing. So, I implore you...do what you love.

It's worth it.

And now, for the dumbest yet in my super dumb series of dancing cube videos that I force myself to make quickly. They are not masterpieces, but they make me laugh while I'm making them, so that's something.

Your pal,

Bailey