Today I'm going to talk about some business and life pondering I did this week. But here's a quick update on what's been going on at FP...
I've also been taking a hard look at where Forma is going. Specifically, I'm going to be working on a new original project that can release sooner than later (so it will be shorter). As much as I like Hunted, the damn thing is too ambitious to release this year. Still happening, but I've got to get more content out there that doesn't suck. Here's an early concept of where my mind is wandering presently. Yes, this sucks at the moment, but hey...
What's Important in Life?
I'm always the first to admit that I'm an idiot. But the people around me have been great. My real fortune in life has been in the company I've kept. Somehow I've managed to find and befriend some really talented people. And I often say that "I'm just barely smart enough to surround myself with smart people." The point being that I owe much of my acquired insights and ideas to the good people I've been around.
Most recently I've been thinking about my trajectory as a freelancer. First of all, I'm happier than I've ever been. But that's not to say that there haven't been hard moments, and I expect even harder moments to come. The beginning of any new venture is plagued with difficulty. Sometimes it really doesn't feel like I'm going to be able to overcome this initial hump in the life of a business. Of course, this was all expected. It's why I planned for a long time before taking the plunge.
Nevertheless, I can't help but feel afraid sometimes. After all, what will happen if Forma Pictures fails to go anywhere? I'll have to get a regular art job again. But imagine the humiliation! What will my friends and colleagues think of me? I'll have failed!
But I was recently clued into a great insight by somebody (one of those great people I know): Going out on my own for a while will yield a better story than simply staying at my past job for another year. Freelancing is a new adventure, and more interesting than just doing what I had already been doing for years.
The ideal is to keep this train going for a long, long time. But in the event that I fail, I won't forget all the happiness I've had this past year. Happiness, for me, is worth more than pride, success, fame or acceptance by my peers. Of course I'm extremely ambitious, but I made a deal with myself... if I haven't achieved all my goals when I die, I still have to say that I enjoyed my life. And that's what it comes down to, discovering what it is that actually matters most. And for me, it's joy. The rest is incidental.